Kenzie1998’s most recent Quotables

Will: [on a Cheerio in his Spanish class] One of these kids spelled her name wrong and answered each question with a drawing of a sombrero.

So, hairography-it works best when you pretend like you're being Tasered, so you just move your head around like you're spazzing and stuff. [She demonstrates] See, guys? It's like cool epilepsy!

Mercedes: What's a patriotic wedgie?
Finn: It's where they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies.
Artie: Strangely, it did make me feel more American.

All I want is just one day a year where I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties. Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off.

And that's how Sue, "C"s it.

Sue: [to Quinn] It's like looking at a porno star in a nun's habit.

Sometimes I forget my middle name.

Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

My parents were famous Nazi hunters, so they weren't around a lot.

Will: And I hate to say it: misogynistic.
Finn: I have no idea what that means.
Brittany: When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.

Dear Journal, something strange happened yesterday. I felt something below the neck. Dare I admit it? I have feelings for one Will Schuester. Sexy, non-murdering feelings. … True love always springs from true hate. I'll admit in the past I've fantasized about waking up with Will's head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.

People thought I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.

I won't rest until EVERY Hurricane is named "Sue".

Santana! Wheels! Gay Kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! Shaft!

It's a Britney Spears sex riot!

I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now.

It's Brittany. Bitch.

Brittany: My name is also Britney Spears.

Glee Club: What?

Mercedes: What the hell is she talking about?

Brittany: My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany S`Pierce.

I don't brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was some sort of dentist.

Is God an evil dwarf?